善良又百厭的深呼吸

21 Dec 2015

發現一個詩人,是快樂的。

或許現代人真的不再在乎詩歌了,太忙太吵,世界也多怨多恨,但發現詩,喜愛詩,是很個人的,不需要理會其他人如何。

詩歌不需要其他人,是你和它的浪漫,但同時可以一起擁抱世界。

發現了Mary Oliver之後,空氣分外明媚。她,”Among the most beloved and most prolific poets of the past century”。

“Listen-are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life?” 她問你。你問自己。

人生想怎樣過,用力大口呼吸,好好活過,還是錯過。輕率粗淺,生命便草草浮躁略過。幾十載紅塵白浪,沒細嚼過多少片風景人面,沒深探過自我內在秘密花園,沒合上眼用心看情人眼裏的悸動,沒張開眼打開靈魂撫摸過生命的斑駁,年華如逝水忘了吸入心肺,太過辜負自己和旅程。

“I believe in kindness. Also in mischief. Also in singing, especially when singing is not necessarily prescribed”,幾句話說到我心中的微絲血管裏,我的信仰實在是善良和搗蛋。曳,從來是一件快樂的事,搗蛋,可以娛己、娛人,其實還有種暗姣,在「嗲人」。很多時,在可以放肆的人面前,人才會放心搗蛋,舒服地為所欲為,是一個知道自己很安全地可以胡來的嬌縱,你在誰面前最能百厭,最敢百厭,最懂mischief,那個人大概最疼你。那麼,相信mischief,就是相信疼錫。

善良,不必多說了。善良是最美的護膚化妝品,勝過一切華衣美服名牌乜乜乜,如果一個人又善良又百厭,即是又靚又好玩,你一定要把她/他愛死。至於唱歌,如果是自然偶發由心唱出來的,啦啦粒,情不自禁的率性,極度美妙,試過即興亂吻過情人額頭,在咖啡店的餐紙上無端寫下短信的人,都明白。”If you want to sing out sing out, if you want to be free be free”,英國歌手Cat Stevens的經典。

“You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves…

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile the world goes on.

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers.

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again…”

《野鵝》是宏闊的,且溫柔世故,請你「讓身體內柔軟的動物愛牠的所愛」,因為高山低谷枯藤老樹昏鴉依舊,小橋流水古道西風尋常,你需要有那種處世的篤定自在,不要強求強迫自己要”good”,不一定要跪玻璃地不放過自己,像天邊的野鵝,”the world offers itself to your imagination”。慢慢你會發現,Mary Oliver的意境,總是寬容溫熱,不亢不火,都付笑談中,又有點像楊絳,那麼潤達。不是練達,她們太知道人生,像明朝陸紹珩的《醉古堂劍掃》中的警語:「從極迷處識迷,則到處醒;將難放懷一放,則萬境寬。」

然而最先讓我發現她的,是《Everything》:”I want to make poems that say right out, plainly, what I mean, that don’t go looking for the laces of elaboration, puffed sleeves. I want to keep close and use often words like heavy, heart, joy, soon, and to cherish the question mark and her bold sister the dash. I want to write with quiet hands. I want to write while crossing the fields that are fresh with daisies and everlasting and the ordinary grass.”

看,多純粹自然無添加,無糖原味,像《小王子》說「只有用心看,才看得準確,重要的東西,是肉眼看不見的。」有如讀到一切,everything,像一個最感性滌靜的spa。 

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